PEDS 250 Writing

      Prompts: write about your friend I want to write about each person of PEDS to show my gratitude so the first victim will be our president, Terti. But before I moving on, please remember that the purpose of this writing is never to create harm and I’ve got the consent from the subject. I have known Terti since I joined PEDS but I finally got close to her since IVED preparation. I finally know how hard it is for her to chew and swallows foods which explains why she is so skinny. We talked a lot about the sims, memes, and Sundanese. Basically, many moments that we have shared together is not something that will create world peace but still, I am grateful for it. But even if that’s the case, I have learnt a lot from her. I learned that I should be patient in facing many things. Terti shows me that no matter what happens like if there is a problem inside your team being angry will not change anything or no matter how hard it is to become a president, the mo...

Topic :: Nice things You have recieved It’s a tradition in this materialistic world of ours to give gift to people. But this pessimistic head of mine, find it hard to accept gift from people. Because the word had taught me that people do not give things just for the sake of it, they must want something back. One cannot deny, though, the pleasure of receiving gifts. Because a gift represent that someone cared and someone knows what you want, to be able to pick the gift for you. The little time spared to pick it out somewhat matters. So what do I do in this dilemma my stupid head is face? A GIFT FOR MYSELF. Maybe it sounds pathetic, that I do not have people to get gifts for me. But the alternative is that I do not feel indebted to others, and it’s exactly what I want. Moreover I do not have to wait for others to decide whether I was worth the time of day and material expense to feel that joy. A move to take control of my own happiness. This is an attempt to see mys...

Childhood me spent days playing with antiques, from aforementioned weapons to my mum's old toys. My grandfather's often annoyed because I kept messing up. His coins collection would get all over his bed, not to mention the shurikens and binoculars used for spy games. So he made me less messy toys, like an indoor swing, in his workshop, just across his room. One of the other perks is that I would sit still to watch him work, so I wouldn't mess stuff up. The place has two levels. The first was for the heavy machineries. The projects here were work related, like maquettes. I remember being so fascinated I asked him to keep one so that I can play with it (he said no). Instead he told me about this machine he bought from another country that helped him make them. When he knew I got interested in architecture, he told me he'd pass it to me. He didn't get to though, and until today we're still unsure where it is. The second level was for his more personal projects,...

Prompt: My favorite place in the world I used to live in my maternal grandparent's house. It housed my grandmother's family before, but since they went and got their own houses, my grandparents were left. My grandfather, who works in construction, modified it to accommodate my grandmother's traditional cakes business and his workshop. I should mention that my grandfather was an eccentric collector who loved woodwork. He used to study medicine, but didn't like it and dropped off to try other stuff before settling down in construction. It's unclear what this other stuff was. He always avoided the question. His things included old-fashioned scales, an accordion, a stethoscope, an air rifle, a crossbow, a katana (for self defense, he said), lots of cameras, two shelves full of the Encyclopedia Britannica, and one for law books. His acquaintances included a European countess. Make of that what you will. The best part of the house is his room and workshop. Open ...

Most of the articles I relate to call what I'm experiencing a "burnt-out". It's different from feeling tired after working 24 hours on a useless paper or homework. It's not something that can be alleviated with relaxation. Although the term is mostly use to describe fatigue simply caused by overwork, some psychologists disagree and so do I. The easiest way to analyse this is finding the root of why people push themselves to prioritize work over all else anyway? Why can't they relax, meditate, take a vacation, and why are all those solutions  useless ? It's because they literally can't . If they do, the attempts will only make them worsen their anxiousness of possible repercussions. There's this compulsive desire, an overarching anxiety that whatever you do, however you improve, you are never satisfied. Got a promotion? There's a higher position. Became the CEO? You have to expand the business. And so on, and so on, and it never stops. And ...

Prompt :  Write down how you can improve your life +  What worries you? Is there a pressing problem you need to work out? (Two prompts in one go because why the hell not) Note : It's written as part I as there is a continuation to this general idea, but writings can all be read individually. I'm always tired. Of doing anything. And I have no f-cking idea why. People keep telling me it's because I take on too many responsibilities at one go. Two rebuttals for that: one, I have been extremely tired for as long as I can remember, even back when I was lazy. Two, I did reduce my responsibilities. Did it help? Nope. What helps? I have no idea. Friends with mental awareness tells me I should go to a psychologist. I agree. Hell, even if you don't have debilitating issue you should still go to one. It's just extremely expensive for a college student with no income to actually commit to a long-term therapy program.  I have no idea on how t...

I hope this letter finds you well....is what I would say if I didn't know any better. But I do know that you are devastated. My eyes saw the turmoil in your psyche and my ears heard your voice joined the distant stories in a chorus of lamentation.  For long you thought that you can and should be in control of the circumstances around you. But now you experience waves of failure  disappointment, and rejection. You tried to brace yourself and figure out how you can better fight the tides. In return, you only find yourself drowning, flailing for a grip as the last sliver of control slip away from your fingers. I can now share you this wisdom; that you don't have to be in control. You may fall short (or far) in meeting your expectation or responsibility and that is fine. In contrast, believing that you are responsible of making everything better is exhausting, tiring, and painful, if not impossible.  Let the chips fall where they may. Close your eyes, ...

Prompts:    What makes you sad? The reason I write this is to make sure that somehow I can leave the traces of my mind about my surrounding. This writing is not wise nor good but at least if somehow in the future I cannot speak anymore, I’ve already put my mind on this blog. I realize that the way I act or the way I think is not “normal”. I usually say a lot of weird stuff and my mind goes everywhere. Trust me, I have tried to change that but maybe God thinks it will be better for me this way. I think it is okay for me to be myself and I should live the best out of my life. That is why I do not like conflict or people who get angry easily because I believe those temper will lead you to something that you will regret soon or later. It doesn’t mean I condemn you who get angry, I still believe you have your own decision and it is up to you. What I want to say is, it usually become very hard for me the moment someone aggressively blames me for not joining his/her ang...

Prompts: what you've been into lately I've been obsessing over ice skating lately. I'm not sure if it's the fever from watching Evgenia Medvedeva and the Virtue-Moir pair during the recent Pyeongchang Winter Olympics, or that Paris Van Java FINALLY reopens their skating rink, or if I just haven't gone for a very long time and missed it. It's a tradition for my family to visit ice rinks whenever we went for a holiday in Jakarta. It was especially a treat because Batam doesn't have them. We used to have a temporary rink set up in the middle of a mall, but that was gone in about 3 months because the upkeep was expensive and nobody cared enough to make it permanent, despite it being so popular. And then there's Avava's "skating rink" that's half the size of my high school's classroom and uses these "ice" that are really just slabs of solid plastic, put together much like the tiles in our beloved Sekre. That's why chanc...

PROMPTS :: Your writing journey. Since I started high school I stopped writing, I got too busy preparing for the 6 rounds of exams I ended up taking. And when I started Uni, things just got busier. Such a big difference from my junior high days, I wrote 4-7 journal entries for English class, much like this one. And I found that I miss writing, though I couldn’t say that my pieces are anything life changing to the readers, but to me it means something. Because with writing I get to say things I don’t usually get to say out loud. Be it because I was too shy, I was insecure about my position, I might hurt the person I was speaking to, or I haven’t got the words at the time. Writing gave me so much freedom in terms of access to my own brain. Because when I write I’m usually not doing anything else, and I get to focus on my own thought. Like having a conversation with yourself. And this opens up so many sides of yourself you don’t normally get to know. It’s liberating in a w...