Most of the articles I relate to call what I'm experiencing a "burnt-out". It's different from feeling tired after working 24 hours on a useless paper or homework. It's not something that can be alleviated with relaxation. Although the term is mostly use to describe fatigue simply caused by overwork, some psychologists disagree and so do I. The easiest way to analyse this is finding the root of why people push themselves to prioritize work over all else anyway? Why can't they relax, meditate, take a vacation, and why are all those solutions useless?
It's because they literally can't. If they do, the attempts will only make them worsen their anxiousness of possible repercussions. There's this compulsive desire, an overarching anxiety that whatever you do, however you improve, you are never satisfied. Got a promotion? There's a higher position. Became the CEO? You have to expand the business. And so on, and so on, and it never stops. And don't get me started on failing or stagnation.
Everything becomes a task you can either fail or succeed in, not only when other people quantify it as in academics. Waking up early, being cultured, being patient, expanding your social circle, all of those "valuable traits" becomes a goal. Hell, I've written skincare as a goal back in 2017. Doing nothing, relaxing, either reinforces feeling unsatisfied OR it gives me even more goals to be achieved : relax, which defeats the purpose.
And I think it's rooted deeply in capitalism. Capitalism rewards people for being productive, and thus look in disdain to those who are not, or less so. Everyone adores those hard workers, to the point of applying that standard to everyone even to people who does not want to work in an overly stressful career. For me it's so deeply rooted in my childhood that external validation no longer matters. My perception of myself never improves.
It's different from having a low self-esteem. You don't think you're incapable. You don't have to overly compensate with arrogance or need validation. It's anxiety. Don't stop, or everyone will catch up. Don't stop, or you won't survive.
(Note : maaf ya training division that this is more than 250 words but ~mel~ thinks this is important for people to know, because those might be what they're experiencing too)
(Note-NOTE : anyone interested in reading on this topic further, a couple of the economist articles for you (they're a nice read kok i swear they're not about capitalism) :
a. https://www.1843magazine.com/features/minds-turned-to-ash
b. https://www.1843magazine.com/body-mind/the-daily/the-way-out-of-burnout
(Note : maaf ya training division that this is more than 250 words but ~mel~ thinks this is important for people to know, because those might be what they're experiencing too)
(Note-NOTE : anyone interested in reading on this topic further, a couple of the economist articles for you (they're a nice read kok i swear they're not about capitalism) :
a. https://www.1843magazine.com/features/minds-turned-to-ash
b. https://www.1843magazine.com/body-mind/the-daily/the-way-out-of-burnout
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